July 12, 2024 . Porn
Farming for Love wasn’t always a bastion of homo-insanity. Its origins were fairly straight-laced, dating back to the 2001 U.K. reality dating adult friendfinder show Farmer Wants a Wife. That iteration didn’t stick, but its straw-sucking, cowgirl-wooing international counterparts have lingered for years. There’s even an American reboot, which just wrapped its second season on FOX. It’s Yellowstone, if Kevin Costner was looking for his forever girl. Betraying its roots, the Canadian edition added a new twist: dumping in a wagonload of gay men.
The CTV hit introduced Farmer Kirkland for its second season, a strapping rodeo champion in search of a loyal second set of hands (and abs) to help tend to the ranch. There’s a lot to love about Kirkland: the wells of his dark eyes, the thick brown beard, the fact that he can up and straddle a horse like it’s nothing. Just look at his sweat-glistened face, appropriately soundtracked by Tinashe’s “Nasty.” Kirkland is also proudly Indigenous and identifies as Two-Spirit, giving the reality show a surprising amount of depth. Notably lacking in that depth, then, is his gaggle of twink suitors.
The boys cameraboys have all the trademarks of a standard issue Bachelor cast: They giggle on majestic private dates, they moan with pouty eyes at the prospect of lost love, and they bicker about just who’s smacked lips with Kirkland. (Spoiler alert: Kirkland isn’t holding back with his bestowal of kisses.) All of this is done in sleeveless knit vests and polos two sizes too small. It’s part Love Island, part Brokeback Mountain, but with drama you’ll only see in the bathroom line at a Charli XCX concert.
There’s also the issue that, as happens with 20-something gay men, they
somehow all look exactly the same. Issa is a bearded Greg; Greg is a
brown-haired Carson. Seeing another blonde twink enter the dating pool,
Carson can’t help but jab, “It’s giving dollar store.”
This homogenous smattering of gay men makes the drama even more
nonsensical. It’s the one with the joyourself buzz cut who upset Kirkland by saying
the barn needs painting?
Or was it the one with the single ear piercing? Or maybe the one who’s
always wearing flannels? They’re all semi-cloned versions of each other,
ladeled in vocal fry.